The Maid Incident Never To Be Spoken Of Again
by Gryvon
Summary: Ze. Raizou/Kon, yaoi. The time with Kon and the dress probably ranked somewhere high on the list of strange things that had happened in the house.


There was giggling at the doorway and then the rapid opening and shutting of the door. Raizou turned and stared. He rubbed his knuckles over his eyes, certain that he was witnessing some sort of strange illusion. Considering the house, that wasn't entirely unlikely and seemed, in fact, a lot more likely than reality.

The vision remained the same, though Kon's face seemed to be getting redder with every second that passed.

"What?" Raizou stuttered, and that was really all he could think to say when he was confronted with Kon dressed like... that.

It had to be one of Ouka's tricks because there was no way in hell that Kon would ever wear something like that without being forced into it and the kami seemed to be stuck, trapped between a door that was most likely sealed from the outside and a very shocked Raizou in front of him.

Kon looked... odd. The fact that he was in a dress was only the start of it. The true weirdness was in the kind of dress it was and the way Kon was blushing as bright as a tomato while tugging down the front of the skirt. The dress was obscenely short. Even on a woman it would have been considered indecent, with a frilled white apron sewn into the front. Raizou'd seen the get-up before, a longer, proper version was worn at some of the cafes around the city and he was fairly certain Benio had been in a very similar dress. Chances were, it probably was Benio's dress though that still didn't answer why Kon was the one wearing it.

"Kon..."

Apparently that one word somehow set the boy off because his face reddened further and he stomped past Raizou without looking up.

"I'm gonna kill Ouka," Kon mumbled, confirming Raizou's suspicions. "He's dead. He's beyond dead. I'm gonna kill him, bring him back to life, kill him again and then have him reincarnated as a suppository."

Raizou wisely chose to stay out of the way as Kon stomped over to the dresser. His mouth flopped and he wondered if there was something he should say. Now would be a very bad time to mention that Kon looked really, really good in the dress, once his mind got over the fact that it was Kon in a maid's dress and went on to processing the actual aesthetics of the scene. No, it was probably a lot better just to stand back and pick up the broken parts of the house once Kon had worked through his rage.

Still, Raizou doubted he'd ever forget the image.

Kon reached back angrily, his hand fumbling with the zipper in the back and not quite reaching it.

The steely gaze fixed on Raizou and he had the sudden urge to flee.

"Unzip it," Kon barked.

Raizou gulped and took a tentative step forward. He wanted to run away but that would only make Kon mad at him because then he wouldn't have helped Kon get out of this strange... whatever it was. Prank? Punishment? With Ouka it was hard to tell and Raizou was fairly certain he really didn't want to know.

He kept his eyes fixed firmly on the wall as he reached for the back of the dress. The zipper slid down with a hiss and it was really, really hard not to look but he wasn't going to invade Kon's privacy like that.

"I'm going to go over there," he announced to the air, knowing it was obvious as soon as he turned and stepped over towards the door but part of him felt like he really did need to announce his actions in case Kon was going to kill him for looking.

Which he didn't. Really. Not at all. Or at least that's what he'd swear under pain of death because Kon really would kill him if he thought Raizou had seen the white lacy panties he had been wearing underneath the dress.

He heard fabric hit the floor and then drawers being slammed open. Raizou wasn't quite sure whether Kon's eagerness to get naked was because he was comfortable with Raizou being in his room, which was a nice thought since that meant they were finally starting to get along a bit better and they did sleep in the same bed which meant they had to be somewhat close but he hadn't thought they were that close, or it could just be that he wanted to get out of the maid's outfit that badly.

"You can turn around now," Kon announced after several minutes had passed in tense silence. He wasn't fully dressed but he at least had pants on and he was in the middle of pulling on a shirt.

Kon gave the dress an angry kick. "Burn that for me. Don't let Ouka see you, and don't let anyone stop you. I want it burned. All of it."

"Y-yes," Raizou stammered. He'd lived in this house long enough to be able to take all sorts of odd orders in stride. If it kept Kon from trying to kill him, he'd burn whatever the boy told him to.

He'd thought that was all that needed to be said and started towards the dress. Kon stopped him with a hand on his chest, the boy's fingers digging into his chest as a warning. Raizou blanched. He'd never seen Kon with quite such a murderous look on his face and for a second he was certain, dead certain that Kon knew he'd peeked.

"If you tell anyone about that dress, you won't live to see another day."

"O-of course."

Kon released him and Raizou sighed in relief as they boy stepped past him, presumably on his way out of the room to go do... something to Ouka.

"And if you pretend like it never happened, I might forgive you for looking while you unzipped the damned thing."

Raizou didn't dare move until the door slammed shut. Turning carefully, he made sure Kon was out of the room before he unfroze. As quickly as he could, Raizou grabbed up the discarded pile of fabric and shoved as much as would fit in the garbage can. Bundling the entire thing in his arms, Raizou sprinted for the garbage incinerator as if his life depended on it. 


End file.
